NOTHING BUT MEMORIES

Daria

2009-10-21T23:11:00.000-07:00

I can't express how much this excites me.

Bitch session

2009-10-01T09:02:00.000-07:00

I'm 27 now. Unemployed. Struggling.

"Blame the economy," "things will get better soon," "something will come along," etc.

I'm tired of hearing these phrases and similar ones. Yes, the economy sucks but even so, there are a million jobs out there. I'm just not qualified for any of them. I've got a Masters degree and nothing to show for it. I spent 6 years getting degrees in a field that leads to homelessness, or so the jokes go. ("I'm an English major, so, pre-homeless.") That's exactly what I'd be if not for my parents. Every day I think, "why did I go to school for English?" I had fun and I learned a lot but really, what will I do with it? If I continued on for my PhD I could be a professor one day. I don't want to get my PhD, however. I write but get rejected from every publication I submit anything to so I'm thinking that might not be my calling. I could be a high school teacher if I had a teaching license, but I don't and I'd really rather not teach high school. So, what does that leave? Technical writing? Editing? Copy Writing? Those are all great careers but I don't have the experience to get any of those jobs. And of course, I can't get experience because they won't hire me. I'm frustrated and ready to give up.

My personal life is just about as F*cked up as my professional one. I'm back in Cortez (my hometown, and a place I hate). I know plenty of people here but there are no people I would care to spend time with. Everyone my age is someone I know from high school but was never friends with, or the husband/wife of someone I knew in high school. Husbands/wives/kids...that's not my thing. Building relationships with anyone of the people I know is difficult because we have nothing to say to each other. We could talk about high school but that is not something I want to do. High school has been over for a long time and I want to keep it in the past. I can't talk about kids or husbands or boyfriends or anything.
I've come to find out that in this town I'm thought to be either a lesbian (because I'm not married, have no boyfriend, and don't want one right now), or pregnant (because I'm not thin). Really Cortez? Are you that closed minded that a woman can't be single and curvy without being labeled as something else? I hate it here.
Then, there are my parents. I've been back for a year and it has been the longest year of my life. I am so unhappy. I feel like I've aged 30 years. And every day I'm reminded of why I was involved in a million activities in high school. I can't handle being around them. I love them but I seriously start feeling violent when I'm around them for very long. I'm not a violent person. I'm not sure if this rage has just been building for the past 27 years or if it is just from the past year. I really don't know. My poor pillow has been my saving grace. Punching, crying, screaming...my pillow has seen it all.

I'm tired. Tired of pretending I'm happy, pretending I'm optimistic, pretending I think everything will be okay. I am not happy, I'm not optimistic at all which shows in that I don't think things will ever be okay for me. Ever. Things could get better, sure but I don't think I'll be okay or happy for a long time. Realizing this makes me even more upset. Feeling this way won't help me get a job, but being happy and positive didn't help either.

I do hope things will get better. I really do.

Poem A Day Challenge Day 30!!! -- Farewell

2009-04-30T14:20:00.000-07:00

Today is the last day of the month and the last of the challenge! I've had a blast and feel like I've learned a lot about my poetry writing style. Since it is the last day I wrote two poems. Enjoy, and cross your fingers that one of my poems makes it into the top 50 (though, not likely).

The Change
The trees are bare
Skies a gloomy grey.
Reds, golds and browns
Mix together in death and beauty.
Soon the snow will begin and
I will say farewell to autumn.

-----------------------------------

The Time Came

You and I had it within our grasp
We saw it come to life at our fingertips
Watched it fall apart at our feet.
There was laughter and tears,
Spoken dreams and hidden fears.
You hurt me in ways
I never knew I could hurt.
You told me you loved me
Your eyes told me you lied.
Before putting myself through hell
I decided to tell you farewell.

Poem A Day Challenge Day 29 - "Never (____)"

2009-04-29T19:01:00.000-07:00

Only One More Day!!!!

Never Settle

If I could give advice to my students
It would be to Never Settle.

Don't settle for this town -
There are greater places elsewhere in the world.
Go out and see them.

Don't settle for that relationship where you're treated okay- There is someone great waiting for you somewhere.

Don't settle for passing -
Strive to do better and make something of yourself.

Don't settle for the cozy job with less money -
Show that you deserve the better job.

Don't settle for the college close to home -
Follow your heart, work for those scholarships, and get the Education you want and deserve.

Don't settle for second best -
You'll miss out on all the good stuff.

If I could give advice to my students it would be to
NEVER SETTLE.

Poem A Day Challenge Day 28 - Sestina

2009-04-28T19:26:00.000-07:00

Sestina

A stress beyond all measure
Wracking my brain to make the words fit.
Are they in the right order and
Do they make any sense?
Overwhelming frustration takes over.
I Quit.

Poem A Day Challenge Day 27 - Longing

2009-04-27T14:18:00.000-07:00

Longing for October Road

A fictional small town
Living within my television
Full of people I want to
Know and care for.
Fall full of orange and gold
Trees and autumn festivals,
Summer full of swimming
Holes and backyard barbeques.
Our time together was cut
Short by low ratings
But I long for a day I
Can return to October Road.

Poem A Day Challenge Day 26 - Miscommunication

2009-04-26T15:01:00.000-07:00

I Heard It Wrong

She stood up when her
Name was called
Grasping the microphone
Firmly between her fingers
"I don't even need the screen"
She called out as she moved
To the front of the stage
We held our breath, knowing
Her as we do, and hoping she
Really knew the song
As she began to sing the chuckles
Started, snickers at first and
Then full out guffaws that made
Us hang our heads in embarrassment
But she sang out loud and proud
Confident in every word and ignoring
The sounds of laughter surrounding her
When the song ended she walked to us
Looking quizzical and quickly
Sat with a frown on her face
Her voice quivered as she asked why
Everyone was laughing at her
We all grabbed her hands and
Told her how she had gotten the
Lyrics completely wrong
She shrugged her shoulders
Said, "I suppose I heard it wrong"
Laughter spilled from her lips while
Repeating over and over, "I heard it wrong."

Poem A Day Challenge Day 25 - An Event

2009-04-25T07:41:00.000-07:00

My First Free Comic Book Day

I never lived near a
comic book shop. When
the opportunity arose
to go and get free comics
my heart skipped a beat.
I walked into a wonderland
comic books both new and old
were laid out in front of me
like offerings on an alter.
I gazed around the shop and
noticed everyone staring at me,
the lone girl in a shop full of
men and boys. I suppose I was
the exotic species that no one
expected to see. I gathered
comic books that looked interesting
and even bought a few to add to
personal collections. Bags in hand
I left with a glance over my shoulder
to see everyone staring at me as
I walked away. Flattering or creepy?

No matter. I had new comic books to read.

Poem A Day Challenge Day 24 -- Travel

2009-04-24T16:17:00.000-07:00

Tour

New cities each day
A loss of time and place
Always someone new to meet
Truck stops and quick marts
Junk food is a must
When you get a chance to eat
Hot days in the sun
Cool nights in clubs
Sweaty and tired we return to
RVs, buses and vans
No parties for most
Unless there is no show tomorrow
Sleeping in cramped quarters
A loss of time and place
Waking up in a new city each day

Poem A Day Challenge Day 23 - Regret

2009-04-23T15:13:00.001-07:00

What You Took From Me

I never spoke up
Thought I deserved what I got.
You charmed your way in.
I knew from the start that you were not
The man of my dreams.
What made me hold on I may never know,
Perhaps I was simply too alone.
No affection did you ever show.
Hands untouched, Secrets unshared.
Still I returned for nights in the dark
Where you took what you wanted and
Left me alone with nothing returned but
A few harsh words and fists.
Bruises were left uncovered for all to see.
I never cared about your trysts
Because you always came home to me,
If only for a little while.
You took me and broke me
Leaving me without a smile.
I wish you'd give it back.

Poem A Day Challenge Day 22 - Work

2009-04-22T18:50:00.000-07:00

Dream Job

Bodies press together
Sweating and heaving
Moving together like waves
Voices combine like a roar
Atmosphere takes over like a drug
Lone guitarists strum haunting chords
Drummers pound on legs and walls
Quiet words pass through singers' lips
Photographers capture random moments

--

Crowd roars in anticipation
I take my spot side stage
Recording the highs and lows,
Interviews with fans post show
Conversation with band members
After show gatherings abound
--

Writing reviews and articles
Reliving the nights
Preparing for the next assignment
Music and writing
Loves of my life
Job of my dreams

Poem A Day Challenge Day 21 - Haiku/poem about Haikus

2009-04-21T19:11:00.000-07:00

Armageddon

Bright orange sunset
Like the earth set aflame
The end of the world

Frustrating

Counting syllables
Fighting with words that won't fit
One incomplete thought

Poem A Day Challenge Day 20 - Rebirth

2009-04-20T06:46:00.000-07:00

Only 10 days left!!!

Rising

You broke my heart
A million pieces
Lay scattered
Across the floor
I gathered them
Mending as I
Cautiously moved on
I burned memories of you
I rose from those ashes
Changed, Smarter
Ready to love and be loved

Poem A Day Challenge Day 19 - Anger

2009-04-19T20:51:00.000-07:00

Elderly Drivers

Not quite tall enough
To see or be seen
Behind steering wheels
Moving at a speed
Slower than a crawl
My rage boils to the top
Hands press on the horn
Followed by fists raised
Screams of fury
Echo through the vehicle

Poem A Day Challenge Day 18 - Interaction

2009-04-18T12:12:00.001-07:00

My Reason for Bleeding

I'm sure it started
Inside the womb
This relationship that
Will last forever
The first sound touched
Something deep inside
Within my heart
Within my soul
It was the sweetest caress
Gentlest embrace
Lightest touch
I was changed forever
Each time I hear the
Sound of my love
I cannot breathe
We thrive off one another
It runs under my skin
Those notes pound through
Every beat of my heart
Music is my endless love
My reason for bleeding Audioblood

Poem A Day Challenge Day 17 - "All I want is (blank)"

2009-04-17T23:43:00.000-07:00

"All I want is..."

Once I had it,
Whenever I wanted.
Once it was hot,
Full of passion.
Once it was amazing,
Recovery took days.

Suddenly I lost it,
Without warning.
Suddenly I was alone,
Day in and day out.
Suddenly I realized,
All I want is sex.

Poem A Day Challenge Day 16 - Inspired by a Color

2009-04-16T17:47:00.000-07:00

Green

New life
Rebirth
Add water
Rinse
Repeat
Enjoy

Poem A Day Challenge Day 15 - Change the title of a poem you enjoy

2009-04-15T18:59:00.000-07:00

Before the Bore of Night

Before the bore of night has begun,
Only the bright, bright afternoon reveals to my face the sun;
Before the quiet of piano humble, or refrain, or unflawed symphony,
Hushed, upon my spirit, shifts the melody genuine.

*Title and poem GREATLY influenced by Walt Whitman's "After the Dazzle of Day" and I don't think this is good at all, but it is all I've got right now. It is one of those days. :D

Poem A Day Challenge Day 14 - Love (anti and/or pro)

2009-04-14T16:33:00.000-07:00

Worth It?

A thing of myth, of legend
Like a unicorn -
In the minds eye it is
Beautiful, perfect, pure.
But does it exist in the way we envision?
Does it exist at all?
Is it more rabid wolverine than unicorn?
Rarely seen,wild, fierce.
Get too close you'll lose a hand, or worse.
One bite and you're infected.
It can have devastating effects.
So, unicorn or wolverine.
Is it really worth the risk?

Poem A Day Challenge Day 13 - Hobbies

2009-04-13T19:57:00.000-07:00

What I do

Maybe your hobby is
Collecting stamps or comic books.
Maybe you
Knit or crochet.
Perhaps you choose to
Hunt or fish.
What I do is collect
Concert tickets and stories.
Concerts calm me when I'm stressed,
Stories help me clear my mind,
They make me sane.

Poem A Day Challenge Day 12 - "So we decided to __"

2009-04-12T19:42:00.000-07:00

So We Decided To...

When we graduated high school
Everyone thought we would stay forever.
We knew there was more in the world for us.
A college education awaited.
So we decided to leave.

When we graduated college
There were not job offers coming in.
Settling for just any job was not an option
We both wanted to see the world,
So we decided to travel.

When our tour of the world ended
We knew we were in love.
Childhood friends to college roommates,
Travel partners to lovers who wanted the world to know.
So we decided to...

Poem A Day Challenge Day 11 - Object

2009-04-11T09:12:00.000-07:00

Swing Set

A squeak with each movement
It mimicked the beat of our hearts.
Quiet as we talked
Loud in our moments of quiet.
It holds memories of generations,
Love and loss,
Hope and fear.
Standing strong in the middle of the countryside
The old schoolhouse swing set.

Poem A Day Challenge Day 10 - Friday

2009-04-10T10:03:00.000-07:00

It was a Friday...

Do you remember
The last time we kissed?
Do you remember
The last time you held me?

I do, it was a Friday.
You stood in the doorway
Like you always did.
Your lips were soft and
Your embrace was warm.
If I had known it was
The last time I would have
Kept holding,
Kept kissing,
But you went away with her
You left me alone with the memory
Of our last Friday.

Poem A Day Challenge Day 8 - A memory/memories

2009-04-09T13:55:00.000-07:00

Cooking with Abuelita, Dancing With Abuelito

In the kitchen Abuelita was cooking
Green Chili and sopaipillas
I could not allow her to cook without me
Skipping from room to room I made it to her side
Grandma would speak Spanish to me
"¿Hija, te gusto de ayudarme?"
Her words were beautiful and I smiled
She lifted me onto the counter to help roll dough
We laughed, we made a mess
Abuelito watched

Sitting in his chair looking at us
Loving eyes warming our hearts
He laughed at our silliness
Picking me up from the counter
He sang softly to me
I never knew the words but it was beautiful
Grabbing my hand he would spin me around
Somehow I would find my way to stand on his feet
Dancing the way little girls do
Abuelita smiled

Poem A Day Challenge Day 9 - Routine

2009-04-08T23:02:00.001-07:00

Morning Routine

turn off alarm
roll over
just ten more minutes
cell phone alarm rings
moan as if that will help
rub eyes
left foot on floor
right foot on floor
open eyes
push self up off bed
trip over clothes in
piles both clean and dirty
open door
stumble to bathroom
feeling like a zombie
shower on
enjoy the heat
lather, rinse, repeat
until water turns cold
reach for towel
brush out all the tangles
choose clothes for the day
two outfits
wait for the phone call
the call that comes
or doesn't come
when it does
it is time to teach
when it doesn't
it is time for pajamas again

Poem A Day Challenge Day 7 - Clean/Dirty

2009-04-07T16:46:00.000-07:00

Clean

Just washed sheets
Hang on the line.
The smell of bleach
Fills the bathroom.
Dishes dry in the rack
On the side of the sink.
My heart, my life, my house...
Everything is clean
Without you here.

Dirty

He was gorgeous,
Funny, and popular.
Out of her league.

Earlier in the night
He was surrounded by girls
Blonde, well endowed,
The kind that laughed
Whenever he spoke.

She sat on the couch
Surrounded by boys.
Thin, pale and smart,
These boys enjoyed
Listening to her speak.

They met at the snack table.
She grabbed the last of the
Pretzels that he wanted.
She turned and said, "too slow."
He watched her walk away.

Half an hour passed,
He went looking for her.
She wasn't like the airheads
Circling him like prey.

She saw him in the doorway and
Headed toward the stairs.
Not knowing why she found a room
Seconds later he walked in.

Their bodies intertwined for hours
Speaking only words of pleasure.

"More," "There," "Don't stop!"

When they were done she
Gathered her clothes.

He sat on the bed asking her name.
She looked at him,
Pulled her pants back on
And whispered in his ear.

Stunned he watched her walk
Out the door and out of his life.
Turning back to him she winked
And licked her lips.

One word passed through his lips
After his world had been
Turned upside down.
The only word to describe her.

Dirty

Poem A Day Challenge Day 6 - Missing

2009-04-06T09:05:00.000-07:00

20% done with the challenge!!!

I thought I would miss...

Your touch,
Your scent,
Your voice.

Sunday crosswords,
Weeknight Jeopardy,
Tuesday trivia.

But I didn't.
I don't.

Three years later
I know that you
Miss me.

Poem A Day Challenge Day 5 - Landmark

2009-04-05T17:11:00.001-07:00

"A ten minute drive to the East"

We drive by hundreds of times,
Not thinking about the ancient mysteries
Held within the mountains that border
Our quaint little town.

When we were young it was our
Field trip destination each year
From first grade until eighth
Never appreciating what we were seeing.

In the summer we see the tourists
Visiting from Germany, France, Japan.
Directing them to the entrance not
Thinking of the wonder they would experience.

The "Ancient Ones" built stone communities
Into the sides of the mountains thousands of years ago.
For hundreds of years they flourish but suddenly
They disappear without warning.

Descendants of the ancient Puebloans people
Thrive in Arizona and New Mexico
Knowing that their ancestral home
Is now a tourist attraction.

Mesa Verde

Poem A Day Challenge Day 4 - Animal

2009-04-04T11:01:00.001-07:00

Narwhal

Strange and beautiful,
Like a unicorn from the sea.
Magical or dangerous,
Their long teeth used for tusking.
A literary legend,
A harpooned woman,
A royal curiosity,
A mythical beast.
All and none of these.
It is unique.
It is wonderful.
The Narwhal.

Poem A Day Challenge Day 3 - "The problem with (blank)"

2009-04-03T08:52:00.000-07:00

I'm 10% of the way through! I hear that if you make it the first three days the rest of the month is a cinch. I'm hoping this is true. :)

The Trouble With Coming Home

The trouble with coming home
Is that it seems like a different place
Or maybe it is that I'm different.

My family is the same and the buildings
For the most part, are the same.
But it is not the same.

I know these streets like the back of my hand,
People still wave when I drive past
And yet I feel alone.

I feel like I'm walking around a ghost town
Haunted by people, strange and familiar
Making home an empty place.

Poem A Day Challenge Day 2 - Outsider

2009-04-02T09:06:00.000-07:00

Outsider

A move from the West
To the East
Alone

The Exotic other arrived
Invading their stuffy
academia

I brought new perspective
Teaching students about
Music

While excelling in class
I was always the
Outsider

Poem A Day Challenge Day 1 - Origin... origin of a word, person, plant, idea, etc

2009-04-01T09:57:00.000-07:00

Rhododendron

Origin unknown
Seen around the world
Himalayas to Borneo
Japan to Appalachians
Wild or domesticated
Beautiful and toxic
Seen on flags
on mountaintops
in yards

*thank you Clare for your topic suggestion*

High School Daze -- It has been 8 years

2009-02-22T19:36:00.000-08:00

Fill this out about your high school experience or SENIOR year! The longer ago it was, the more fun the answers will be!! Thought you all who knew me back then might get a laugh out of some memories! Share yours!

1. Did you date someone from your school?: No. I didn't date in high school. I never even got asked out.

2. Did you marry someone from your high school?: HA!!! No. I'm not married at all.

3. Did you car pool to school?: Sometimes. It depended on what was going on that morning.

4. What kind of car did you have?: 1990 Nissan Axxess (the Var)

5. What kind of car do you have now?: 2000 Pontiac Sunfire

6. Its Friday night...where were you?: Depends, is there a game that I have to attend for Pep Band? If not, I was at home or at youth group.

7. It is Friday night... where are you now?: Home

8. What kind of job did you have in high school?: babysitting

9. What kind of job do you do now?: Substitute Teaching

10. Were you a party animal?: No, quite the opposite actually.

11. Were you considered a flirt?: I don't think so. Maybe I wasn't aware of my flirtation.

12. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir?: I was in band, jazz band, chamber choir, and Jazz choir.

13. Were you a nerd?: Was, am, and always will be.

14. Did you get suspended or expelled?: No. I was a goodie goodie.

15. Can you sing the fight song?: Maybe the first few lines

16. Who was/were your favorite teacher(s): Mr. Feela, Mrs. Sitton, Mr. Hall, Mr. Ritthaler

17. Where did you sit during lunch?: The Choir room (on days I had jazz choir), the band room (when I was a freshman), and on days when I had Senate I was in whatever room we held senate in.

18. What was your school's full name?: Montezuma - Cortez High School

19. When did you graduate?: 2001

20. What was your school mascot?: Panther

21. If you could go back and do it again, would you?: No. I'm happy those days are behind me. But in a way I relive high school from time to time when I'm subbing there.

22. Did you have fun at Prom?: Junior year, yes. Senior year, not really.

23. Do you still talk to the person you went to Prom with?: We have exchanged a few words via the Facebook, but that's about it.

24. Are you planning on going to your next reunion?: Perhaps, if I am around...and it will be my first reunion.

25. Do you still talk to people from school?: I speak to a few somewhat regularly, and have several as Facebook or MySpace "friends" and exchange a message with them here and there.

26. Who was your best friend? It is a tie between Tramaine and Noah...whether they knew they were or not is another story.

27. Did you play any sports? No, but I did letter in Varsity Basketball for being the film manager.

28. Where did you go most often for lunch? On campus- The cafeteria, Off Campus - McDonalds and Burger King are tied.

29. What do you remember most about graduation? Singing and walking across the stage with my diploma.

30.Where were you on Senior Skip Day? Did we have one of those? I remember going to some sort of activity day but not a skip day. Maybe I'm making things up. HA.

31. Have you gained weight since then? Yes.

32. What did you do after graduation? Hung out with my family. On the inside I wished I had been invited to some of the graduation parties...but I wasn't so I was at home.

33. Were you popular? It depends on what you consider popular. I knew a lot of people, I had a lot of friends, but I was also an outcast for the most part...or at least I felt that way.

34. Do you own all 4 yearbooks? Yes. But I rarely look at them.

35. What radio station did you jam out to in high school? Probably 98.7 KRTZ... if STAR 102.9 was on back then I probably listened to that. And probably 99.7 The POINT.

36. What are/were your school colors? Orange and Black!

37. What was your number 1 choice of college in high school? The one I attended...Fort Lewis College

38. Were you involved in any organizations or clubs? Just a few. Band, Choir, Jazz band, Jazz choir, Student Senate, NHS, Basketball, and a few musicals...so I guess Drama. I think that is all.

39.What was your favorite class in high school? Band, Choir, and English...every year they were my favorites. Oh, and Field Biology.

40. Who was your big crush in high school? Tramaine. Although, I don't think he ever knew.

41. Would you say you’ve changed a lot since highschool? Not too much, I don't think. I've grown a lot, but who I was then is still there.

42.What do you miss the most about it? Not having to be the responsible adult I've had to be since I graduated.

43.Your worst memory of HS? I can't think of anything right now.

44. Did you own a cell phone in high school? No, and I don't think I knew anyone that did either.

45. Were you always late to class? A few times, but almost always excused.

46. Did u have school pride? When I needed to.

47. What kind of people did you hang out with? I hung out with a lot of people from jocks to nerds to Korn kids...I loved them all.

48. Were you in the "In Crowd"? Ha, no. But some of my friends were.
49. Favorite memory of your Senior Year? Graduation.

50. Where did you think you'd be at the age you are now? No idea. I couldn't imagine being this age...For some reason I never thought I'd make it to age 26.

New Poem

2009-02-22T19:17:00.000-08:00

SMOKE SIGNAL

Anxiety crawls beneath my skin
As I stand outside.
I can smell your cigarette
Or so I though .
I picture you,
Breathing in deep,
Nicotine, chemicals and tar
Burning into your blood.
Smoke filling your lungs until
You breathe out in satisfaction.
Showing more passion for smoking
Than you ever did for me.
But you are not there,
You never really were.
Maybe I should have sent up
A smoke signal.

Winter Storms, Ghosts and TLC

2009-02-11T10:55:00.000-08:00

On weekdays that I'm not working (as I'm a substitute teacher it happens sometimes) I find myself drawn to the TLC style shows...What Not to Wear & 10 Years Younger to be exact. I am drawn to these shows but from time to time they give me nightmares and I wonder why I watch. Aside from the entertainment value they have I have a secret desire to be on these types of
shows, and yet it terrifies me at the same time. I guess I just feel that they would have a great time telling me about my lack of fashion sense.

On an unrelated topic...I really hate the snow. I have lived in Colorado all but 2 years of my life and each year I'm here I hate it more. I need to move somewhere that doesn't get snow...or gets VERY little of it. I'm thinking maybe the Bahamas.

That's really all that is going through my mind lately. Oh, And I'm going to start posting a random picture with each post so...Enjoy!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2009-01-02T16:00:00.000-08:00

Well, the new year is here and I have been thinking of the things I want to accomplish this year. I don't do the whole resolution thing but I think goals are necessary. There is so much I'd like to do but this economy is making a lot of it very difficult. I've broken my goals into three categories: what I can do for free, what I'll have to pay for, and what might be either one.

Free in 2009:

Reading 100+ books (half non fiction)
Finally revising my 600 paper and sending it off for publication
Writing, finishing, revising, and submitting two stories (one fiction, one non)
Writing more poetry
Visit with family and friends more, either in person or over phone/email
Take time for myself
Brush my teeth left handed
Love myself more

Costly in 2009:

Move (I'm not sure where, but away from SW Colorado)
Travel outside of the US
Go to concerts
See a Broadway show (preferably Wicked)
Visit friends in the US, in places I haven't been or haven't been in a long time

Either free or costly in 2009:

Getting a job
Getting a job where I'm happy
Being asked on a date
Going on my first date in 5 years

I hope I accomplish a lot of what I list here. First on my list is to get a job. I hope that happens sooner rather than later.

Anyway, HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I hope 2009 is amazing for everyone!

Things that made me smile today

2008-12-14T19:53:00.000-08:00

- Singing in front of a crowd again
- Awana kids
- These two videos:

RIP Bettie Page

2008-12-12T11:18:00.000-08:00

Christmas & Materialism

2008-12-08T09:31:00.000-08:00

I hate being poor during the holidays. Especially when I'm trying to get ready to move to Korea to teach. I have $85 to my name, bills that are unpaid (and have been accumulating for months), student loans, two $25 parking tickets from my trip to Denver that need to be paid by Thursday or they go up to $50 each, and more... It really stinks. I have tried to get a part time job until I leave but no place is hiring (except construction jobs which I can't do). I have put several items up for sale on ebay and half.com but so far the only thing that has sold is my copy of Tuesdays with Morrie which sold for $1.08. Big money. Ha. Anyway, I don't mean to complain through this whole entry. I'm just writing to get things off my mind.

I have an interview tonight (in 3 1/2 hours actually) with a school in Korea. It is an SLP school and from the website and the Footprints website it sounds like a pretty great school but I went onto a message board where former employees write about their experience and they have NOTHING good to say. In fact they say that SLP stands for Slave Labor Program. That doesn't exactly sound like a place I want to be. Then I found a bunch of videos of people teaching and filming their classes and stuff and they look like they're having an amazing time. So I'll do the interview and see where things go from there. Wish me luck.

In other news... Christmas. I've had a few people tell me they want to know what I would like for Christmas so I thought I'd post it here that way I don't have to re-write everything each time I get asked. :D

So, my list:
- Money for Korea. If you'd like to support my cause and help me take at least $100 with me to Korea contact me and I'll give you info on how you can do so.
- iTunes gift cards for any amount. I can never have too much music.
- anything else I might want can be seen on my Amazon.com wish list.



I think that's it. And the only thing I can honestly say I need rather than want is cash.
But then, who desn't want cash, right?
Christmas cards are also great. Just knowing people care is pretty great. I got a card today from
one of my friends on thedarktower.com and it pretty much made my day.

I hope everyone is having a great holiday season. I'm going to have some hot chocolate while I wait
for it to start snowing! :)

I'm Thankful

2008-11-27T09:49:00.000-08:00

If you celebrate the holiday, Happy Thanksgiving.
If not, Happy Thursday!

As people do on this day, I'm making a list of things and people for which I am Thankful. I am thankful for these people and things every day but I don't always think of it all in one sitting. I'm trying to do that here.

First, I'll start with people.
My Parents: I am so thankful for my parents. They support me in anything and everything I want to do. I wanted to go to Graduate school and they helped me move across the country. I tell them I want to teach in Korea and they support me completely, helping me in any way they can to get me ready to leave. They are amazing people and I love them so much. I don't know what I'd do without them.

My sister: Growing up together was difficult but once I left for college we became friends and she is fantastic. She is always there for me if I need her, and even when I don't. She makes me laugh and always keeps me entertained. She's smart, funny, sassy, and caring. I'm thankful that we got passed our childish feelings and became the friends we are today. I love her dearly.

My grandparents/aunts/uncles: The Beard clan are quite the group of small town middle class people, and I love them. They are the side of the family that has always been supportive of me and constantly show they care. I didn't grow up around them but they still show they love me. Grandma, Aunt Kathy and Uncle Bill are the ones in the family that travel to visit me. They have attended graduations throughout my life and it is amazing to know that they care that much. I am also thankful for my Grandpa Garcia. Although he died when I was young, he was, and is, a huge influence on my life. I'm thankful that I got to know him, even for a short while.

The Leonards: My second family. United by a kidney and by friendship we have become quite the fun crowd. Noah has been my friend for so many years and it is fantastic to see our families turn into the people they are today.

Robbie:My sister's fiance. I'm thankful for him because of the positive influence he has been in my sister's life. She was lost for a very long time but he grounded her and is good for her. They are good for each other. He makes her happy and I"m thakful for that. I'm also thankful for the friendship we have started.

Terry:My Homoboy! I don't know if I would have survived grad school without him. He kept me sane in a town that was insane, he was my strength in hard times, and he was my support both in and out of class. Every girl needs a homoboy and I think I have the best in the world. I'm thankful for his friendship and love him very much.

Mike: One of my best friends and someone I don't know where I'd be without. He gave me a place to live for the summer. He supplied endless conversations and constant entertainment. I'm thankful for his friendship every day.

My boys: They are the reason I survived undergrad. They are (almost) always there for me when I need them. They are nothing more than exactly who they are and I love that about them. I am thankful for every single one of them.

Clare and Kara: The only two girls, not related to me, that I love with all my heart. Their friendships mean the world to me and I am thankful that they are always there for me.

Walt Whitman and Stephen King: The poet who changed my life and the author that scares the crap out of me. These two men have been major influences in my life and are basically the reason I became an English major.

Everyone else I know: I'm thankful that you're in my life, whether your role is great or small you make me who I am.

THINGS FOR WHICH I AM THANKFUL

Music: My lifeblood. Without music I don't know who I would be and I'm happy I never have to find out.

Literature: My heart. It provides an escape from life and also is my reason for what I'm doing with my life.

Education: I am thankful for the educational opportunities I've been given and the ones I've been a part of for others.

So, that's my list. :)

happy thanksgiving!

A Literary President Elect!!!

2008-11-06T10:44:00.001-08:00

An excerpt from an article about Toni Morrison and Obama:

"For Morrison and others, the election of Obama matters not because he will be the first black president or because the vast majority of writers usually vote for Democrats. Writers welcome Obama as a peer, a thinker, a man of words — his own words. Writers welcome a literary president-elect."

Amen to that. I think that every writer I know of supports Obama, and has from the beginning. :)

For the full article go here.

SCREAM QUEEN!!

2008-11-05T11:32:00.000-08:00

Here are pictures from Halloween. They're "myspace-y" but all that I had. No one was around to take my pictures. Also, Please excuse the towels that can be seen in the background. :)

Showing how far down my neck the blood was dripping:

I heard you were looking for Candyman, Bitch:

Bloody Mary?:

Happy Scream Queen! I only look innocent:

On an unrelated note. Michael Crichton died today @ age 66 from Cancer.

Yes, We Can!

2008-11-05T08:56:00.000-08:00

What a night! I am still just ecstatic over what has taken place. What an amazing and historical moment!

I made a comment last night on another blog I have stating that I was proud of my country for one of the first times in my life. I have gotten so many comments on it already from people who think that was not an appropriate thing to say. My favorite comment was this one:

"you are sounding like the typical fair weather citizens,
and confusing your country with your elected leadership,

including your already democratic congress."

My response to that was this:
"First of all, my opinion is nothing more than that, my opinion and I have the right to it without being torn down by comments like this. I am not confused. This was my third time voting and for the first time I felt like it mattered and made a difference. I, along with so many others, became active during this election, and our hard work paid off. I never felt pride in my country as a whole until 9/11. I was proud of how Americans came together to help one another and move through the tragedy. I have been proud of my country after natural disasters and the way people band together to rebuild. However, those are REACTIONS to situations. This is the first time that I have been proud of my country for ACTION. Yes, in a way it is a reaction. A reaction to the past 8 years, a reaction to the economic decline, etc.. however, last night the USA took action for change and I am proud of that."

On a happy, fun filled note... Here is a Japanese Obama theme song. :)

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

2008-10-31T10:01:00.000-07:00

Today is day one of my favorite three days EVER. Halloween starts it off and the celebration of Dia de los Muertos finishes it off this weekend. I'm excited. Today I'm a "Scream Queen" for Halloween. I started out as a victim of Freddy Krueger but instead I was inspired by the girls from VH1's new show and I'm a generic Scream Queen. I've got fake blood and red and black makeup completing my image. I'll post pictures this weekend.

I hope you all have a fantastic day and celebrate in some way.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Attack of the robocaller

2008-10-25T21:22:00.000-07:00

I love when blogger leads me to other fantastic blogs. I stumbled upon the blog of "Griper Blade" and I had to share this entry with anyone who cares to read. It is about the robocalls that have been attacking people in "battleground" states. Read. Laugh. Enjoy. :)

I, Robocaller
Robocalls. If you're a voter in one of the "battleground states," you're familiar with them. Right when you're in the middle of doing something liberal -- say, destroying the family by making cakes for same sex weddings -- the phone rings and a voice tells you "the truth" about Barack Obama.

Who makes robocalls? That should be obvious from the name -- robots. Clearly, they see the McCain-Palin ticket as being stronger for their radical robot agenda. The metal men, with their fierce laser beam eyes and computer brains, want nothing more than to see McCain elected.

Why?

I looked up the Three Laws of Robotics and discovered a chilling fact. See for yourself:

1. A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.

2. A robot must obey orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.

3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

My discovery? That there's nothing barring a robot from lying. You could argue that losing an election would constitute "harm" for Barack Obama, but robots -- with their merciless calculations -- could see McCain losing as an equal harm. The second law could be overriding the first, since offense and defense are merely different positions in the same game. Team McCain orders the robots to make the calls, so the robots do it. The harm caused to Obama by doing it is rendered neutral by the harm caused to McCain by not doing it.

And doing it they are. Oh, yes indeed. Doing it they most certainly are...I've received the following call personally:

Hello. I'm calling for John McCain and the RNC because you need to know that Barack Obama has worked closely with domestic terrorist Bill Ayers, whose organization bombed the U.S. capitol, the Pentagon, a judge's home and killed Americans. And Democrats will enact an extreme leftist agenda if they take control of Washington. Barack Obama and his Democratic allies lack the judgment to lead our country. This call was paid for by McCain-Palin 2008 and the Republican National Committee at 202-863-8500.

Of course, this is guilt by association. Obama and Ayers were recruited by the same foundation to work on education issues. This is the same as holding you responsible for the people your employer hires. It's a ridiculously wild pitch and isn't getting over the plate with voters. So, of course, the robots tried a different pitch:

Hello. I am calling for John McCain and the RNC because Barack Obama says small town folks like us cling to our guns because we are bitter. And elitist Democrats who want to control Washington and completely ban hand guns and most hunting rifles. The NRA said that Barack Obama would be the most anti-gun president in American history. These elitist Democrats just don't understand us and we can't trust them with our 2nd Amendment rights. This call was paid for by the Republican National Committee and McCain Palin 2008.

One thing becomes clear with this call, the robots think humans are idiots. I got this one and, although it talks about "small town folks like us," I live in Wisconsin's second largest city. The belief in human irrationality is further manifest through the assertion that Obama "would be the most anti-gun president in American history." The robots know his opinions about guns -- even if he were the "most anti-gun president" ever -- have been rendered moot by the Supreme Court. The familiar Republican scare tactic of Democrats coming to take your guns away is even more nonsensical than it ever was. They literally can't.

I warn you, this next robocall is chilling:

Hello, this is Governor Tom Ridge, America's first Secretary of Homeland Security. I'm calling for John McCain and the RNC because this week Joe Biden, Barack Obama's running mate, made startling comments that we must take seriously. He reminded us of Sen. Obama's inexperience when he said that America would face an international crisis that Sen. Obama would be unprepared to handle alone. If the Democrats win complete control of government they will want to give traditional civil rights to terrorists and talk unconditionally to dictators and state sponsors of terror. Barack Obama and his Democrat allies lack the experience and judgment to lead America.

That's right, Tom Ridge, former Secretary of Homeland Security and one-time shortlister for McCain running mate, is a robot! And, as the call demonstrates, robots are not incapable of lying. Obama would "give traditional civil rights to terrorists?" Since when are civil rights a mere tradition? They're written into the Constitution. And once you're found guilty of a felony, you lose your civil rights. Robo-Ridge's call makes no sense. Remember, robots believe you're completely irrational.

Other political figures have also exposed themselves as robots:

Hi, this is Rudy Giuliani and I'm calling for John McCain and the Republican National Committee, because you need to know that Barack Obama opposes mandatory prison sentences for sex offenders, drug dealers, and murderers. It's true, I read Obama's words myself. And recently, Congressional liberals introduced a bill to eliminate mandatory prison sentences for violent criminals -- trying to give liberal judges the power to decide whether criminals are sent to jail or set free. With priorities like these, we just can't trust the inexperience and judgment of Barack Obama and his liberal allies. This call was paid for by the Republican National Committee and McCain-Palin 2008.

This explains so much. The reason Giuliani was repeating "9/11, 9/11, 9/11..." throughout the campaign was because he was caught in a recursive programming loop. He's obviously been rebooted since then, but his code is still faulty. Mandatory minimum sentencing isn't the same thing as "mandatory sentencing." Sentencing is always mandatory -- if you've been found guilty of a crime, you've got to be sentenced to something. Yet Robo-Rudy seems to believe that Obama is against sentencing criminals. Why on Earth would he be?

Because humans are irrational, that's why. To the awesome metal men, you might as well be an overly-emotional squirrel. The human mind is a complete mystery to them.

But why do the robot hordes want McCain -- a human -- to be president? We've seen plenty of examples of McCain's primary emotional state -- silent, barely contained rage. We know he's not a robot.

The answer will leave you speechless:

Hi, this is Sarah Palin. One of our local campaign volunteers just called you, and I wanted to follow up and ask for your support. You know our opponents may talk a lot, but they haven't done much listening. I know what it's like to be a hard-working mom. I know how hard it is to make ends meet during tough times like this. John McCain and I know our country is hurting, and we know how to turn it around. We'll get our economy back on track. we'll cut your taxes and lower prices at the pump and at the grocery store. John McCain and I are the mavericks who will reform Washington, Wall Street., and all the wasteful government in between. I hope John McCain and I can count on your support on November 4. We won't let you down. Paid for by McCain-Palin 2008 at 703-418-2008.

Dear sweet God, Sarah Palin is a robot. The reign of humans on this world may be drawing to a close.

For the love of all that is decent and human, vote!

VOTE!!

-Wisco

Doctor Who Comics

2008-10-25T21:15:00.000-07:00

I LOVE Doctor Who...and I've come to love comics. I read this article and it makes me happy. :)

Doctor Who Comics Make Comeback in Print, DVDs
By John Scott Lewinski

Doctor Who comics of the past, present and future are making a comeback. (He's a time traveler. He can do that sort of thing.)

Throughout the show's 45 year history, Doctor Who has been a powerful multimedia presence. Whether appearing on television, in movies, in books, etc., The Doctor's adventures lent themselves to any storytelling style. It's only natural that his colorful sci-fi adventures would find a comfortable home in comic book form. With Who's first run episodes on a temporary hiatus, it's a natural enough time for those comics to step to the fore.

The latest volume of new titles hit stands this month with Doctor Who: The Forgotten from IDW (top). Written by Tony Lee with art by Pia Guerra, the six-part series features David Tenant's current Doctor alongside his season three companion, Martha (Freema Agyeman). The Forgotten follows the same publisher's Doctor Who: Agent Provocateur (the first title written specially for an American audience).

IDW previously published the Doctor Who Classic Series, reprints of Marvel's U.K. efforts from the 1980s (including strips drawn by Watchmen artist, Dave Gibbons).

Fans get a look at the history of those 1980s comics and their ancestors on the recent Doctor Who DVD releases from BBC Video. "Black Orchid" features a look back at the Fifth Doctor's well-inked journeys. And "The Time Meddler" documents The Doctor's first strip adventures in the early 1960s and the William Hartnell era.

Finally, IDW is also republishing the 1990s comics (left) by legendary writer and artist, Grant Morrison. The scotsman carried the comics mantle for Who during the Colin Baker and Sylvester McCoy eras before the show's pre-Russell T. Davies exile.

Donuts & Bacon, Cleese and McCain...

2008-10-25T12:56:00.000-07:00

So, yesterday John McCain made an appearance in Durango, CO... the town where I went to undergrad. It is a town full of ski bums, college students, and lots and lots of hippies. It is also a very liberal and democratic town. When I first heard that McCain was going to be there I thought wow, that's strange. One of the Obama supporters that set up outside the McCain rally had this to say: "I can't figure out why he came here," Callard said. "It's kind of like Dick Cheney going to a Grateful Dead concert in Telluride." If you know Durango and Telluride this will make total sense. :) This is the best quote I've heard from anyone lately.

This video is LOVE. The honesty is great to see. And Cleese calls America the "village idiot" ...could he be any more on point with that one? And he says that Palin is like a parrot. Too true. :) I love John Cleese!!!!

Also, if you get a chance take a listen to this song. It is called "Donuts and Bacon" which is a reference to the Obama logo. It is a fun sing along type song. I've posted the lyrics below if you'd like to sing along. :)

Donuts and Bacon by the James Rocket (http://thejamesrocket.com)
http://thejamesrocket.com/thejamesrocket_files/donutsandbacon.mp3

DONUTS AND BACON

We were reading and watching and ranting irate
When we saw a shirt advertised at the debate
Such sweet inspiration! A savory plate
Of donuts and bacon, Obama 08

And I saw in that vision before me online
A fine sentiment that we could all get behind
When the victory's ours let's go out and get blind
And eat donuts and bacon in the morning!

CHORUS
Donuts and bacon and
Donuts and bacon and
Donuts and bacon in the morning

Donuts and bacon and
Donuts and bacon and
Donuts and bacon in the morning

It's been a long tunnel but we see the light
Cause we all know that Barry will carry the fight
So let's get out the vote then drink whiskey all night
And eat donuts and bacon in the morning

CHORUS

All good liberals can fight when our back's to the wall
Cause we know that we're right, and the right's not at all,
All us losers and boozers and heroes can't fall
If there's donuts and bacon in the morning

CHORUS

Though we've suffered eight years of republican blight
If the worst should occur by deceit tuesday night
We can drown all our sorrows then get up to fight
And eat donuts and bacon tomorrow

But religious folks tell me despair is a sin
And though I'm no believer and I've never been
I believe that Obama and Biden will win
Let's have donuts and bacon every morning

CHORUS 2X and WE OUT

Donuts and Bacon '08:

Ramble, ramble...

2008-10-14T09:49:00.000-07:00

So, last night I was at work and this truck driver guy came in and, as I do with all the customers, I say hello. He walks by and just STARES at me. When he comes up to pay for his stuff he says, "I'm sorry for staring when I came in but you are GORGEOUS. I'm sure you have a boyfriend and you need to tell him that he is a very lucky man." It was a really nice thing to hear but I really just don't take compliments well. Instead of feeling good about being told I was gorgeous I thought "ha, yea, if that were true I wouldn't be alone, I wouldn't be waiting around to go on my 3rd date EVER, and I wouldn't have such self-esteem issues. " But of course I smiled and said thank you. Then I started talking to the guy about the Iron Skillet restaurant in Wytheville, VA. The guy had a shirt from Iron Skillet and it made me think of two of my professors in VA. They go to the Iron Skillet when they go fly fishing. I miss them. Anyway, completely off track there, my point is that when I get compliments like that (and it is rare, believe me) I don't know how to take them. I have never been one to get told I'm beautiful or pretty or anything by people except for my parents, and it is their job to say things like that. Everyone has always told me that I'm smart and nice and fun but rarely ever will I hear a compliment on my appearance. I just don't know how to deal with it and that makes me crazy.

On a different note...My date for leaving the country is fast approaching and I don't even know when I'm leaving or where I'm going. My passport *should* be arriving soon, by the end of the week if I'm lucky. I need to get my background check done on Thursday when I have the day off work, I hope it won't take long. After that I just need to scan all my paperwork (passport, diploma, etc.) and email them to Footprints and then send all the stuff to them through snail mail and then I'll be assigned to a school and go from there. I could be over in S.K. within a month. :) I'm so excited. I have a friend that is over there now who talks about all the people that she never hears from that she thought she would hear from and the people she never thought would contact her that have been doing so. It makes me think about who I'll be in contact with when I'm gone and who I won't. Will my best friends still be my best friends or will I lose contact with them and lose friends forever? I'm not looking forward to that part of things. Everything else I'm really excited about.

Also, I absolutely adore How I Met Your Mother. Just when I think it has reached its peak of funny they surprise me and give me something more. 80 year old Barney was hilarious. Comedic genius.

Too many tonight

2008-09-25T14:24:00.000-07:00

There are just too many shows to watch tonight so I'll have to put some off until tomorrow.

Tonight's lineup:

Tomorrow I'll catch up on these:

and watch the second episode of the season of:

Tonight, tonight

2008-09-24T14:06:00.000-07:00

Two of my favorite shows come back on tonight:

I really hope that CM has a great opener. The show in general is great but sometimes a whole episode goes by and there was nothing entertaining about it. I'm hoping for some action.

First of all I want to say how much I love this picture. It is goofy and fun and it reminds me of this picture which is just cool. Also, Hello Carmine's arms (Danny). He's such a looker. :]
I can't wait to see what goes on in this episode. Spike has really gotten me pumped up for tonight by playing every CSI:NY episode over the past few days.

And also tonight, another new episode of another favorite:

WOOT!!!

2008-09-23T16:11:00.001-07:00

Happy Dance time:

I had an interview today for a job teaching English. Not teaching literature or composition or anything like that. Teaching the language. In South Korea. As soon as I have my passport I'll be assigned a school and go from there. I could leave as soon as October. I might work someplace easy for a few weeks just to make a little cash before I go. I'm so excited. This is going to be amazing.

Tonight's Lineup

2008-09-23T12:36:00.000-07:00

More season openers tonight!!!

And of course, new episodes of these:

And about shows from last night...
Heroes: Pretty darn good. Better than I expected.
Big Bang: Ok. Could have been better.
How I Met Your Mother: Hilarious. As always. :)
Dexter: Fantastic. Seriously, so brilliant.

Shows...

2008-09-22T12:20:00.000-07:00

Tonight I get to see some season openers and I'm excited.

This is my lineup for the evening:

It took me a few episodes in the first season to get into this show but I'm hooked now. Nerds make for good comedy.

Funniest show on television. Hooray for the start of a new season.

I hope that this first episode will blow me away. If not...I'm hesitant about a whole season. I'm very intrigued by the villain idea though.

Possible viewing tonight:

Depending on how Heroes is going I'll either watch this tonight or view it online tomorrow. I'm not sure what to do without Horatio and his sunglasses.

Also,

I get a sneak peek at the first episode of Dexter so I'll be watching that and possibly the new episode of Californication. :)

I'll be back tomorrow with more.

TV

2008-09-18T09:15:00.000-07:00

So, for the first time in YEARS I have been able to watch new tv shows on television, well, for the first time in years I've been able to watch any tv shows and I'm actually quite excited about it. I've gotten hooked to some new shows and some not so new shows. Anyone else watch or addicted to these?

#1- Fringe (FOX)

Yes, the science is wonky but I am no scientist so it doesn't bother me too much. I keep hearing people comparing it to LOST and I'm sure they're making valid points but for me, I judge by whether I want to watch the show again. I watched the first two episodes of LOST and wasn't impressed and I haven't seen any episodes since. I watched the first two episodes of FRINGE and I am hooked.

#2- Primeval (BBC America)

"It's Torchwood meets Jurrasic Park." It was that tagline that got me interested in the first place. Torchwood is one of my favorite shows and there is still a part of me that has a fascination with dinosaurs so I was excited. Then, add that it is a BBC show and I'm hooked. The end of the first season and the second season are my favorites.

#3 - True Blood (HBO)

Vampires. Enough said.

I'm sure more will be added as more shows come out.

Shows that I'm curious about and hope to like:
#1 - Life on Mars (ABC)

I was a fan of the BBC version of this show, which was on not all that long ago, and I hope it is a good show. However, word is that ABC has pretty much scrapped original ideas of the show. The main character's mythology has changed, his reasons for being in the 70's has apparently changed...and of course, the accents have changed. :D I just hope that it doesn't flop like Viva Laughlin did. When that was made for American tv it just didn't work. Blackpool was brilliant but it didn't translate well here. I'd rather watch Blackpool anyway...David Tennant is fantastic, and he sings.

#2 - Crusoe (NBC)

I'm curious to see how they turn the book into a tv series. Or if it will work at all.

#3 - Heroes (NBC)

I realize that this is season 3 of the show but it feels like season 2 was such a waste (just my personal opinion). Nothing great really happened, and it was so short that it all seemed really rushed. In a way it is like season 3 is a new beginning. I know of a lot of people who never watched before but are looking forward to watching now. Maybe it will be a new beginning for the show...I hope so. I'd hate to see it fall on it's face.

#4 - Sanctuary (SciFi)

From just seeing previews I think that this has potential to be a great show. Granted, it is a SciFi original so I give a bit of leeway for corniness. I like the look of the show and the chick from Stargate Atlantis is in it, and she's pretty cool (but needs a better wig from the look of things).

Bollucks!

2008-09-15T14:13:00.001-07:00

So, today I was supposed to have an interview with a newspaper for a fantastic job opportunity. I came back home with all my stuff just in case I lucked out and got the job...well, I didn't. I called this morning to find out what time I was to come in and the Editor told me that he hired someone for the position last week but would keep me in mind in the event that things didn't work out. Seriously...tell me things like that before I drag my ass 8 hours from where I'm happy. Now I have to try to find a crap job in this crap town. Ugh. Maybe I just wasn't meant to have the job. I'll move on...I'm just bummed.

2008-09-04T11:44:00.000-07:00

A lovely friend of mine has been posting some really cool stuff lately and I'm going to snag some topics from her and post them here. :)

First,

A fantastic photoblog that documents the goings on of the 2008 conventions both DNC and RNC.

http://drunkatdnc.blogspot.com/

Second,

This article is a fantastic look at all this Palin business from the journalism side. This is taken from POLITICO.

http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0908/13143.html

Third,

There's a nice fact check list on this journal page that gives links to information about the RNC, Iraq and Palin.

Fourth,
The "Sarah Palin Vlog" videos should be watched by everyone! Go to her youtube page and watch all five. This Sara chick is so funny. :)

And finally,
My own question...Where in the heck did Palin come up with the names of her children? I mean seriously? Track, Trig, Bristol, Willow and Piper? Piper I can let slide because I have a friend by that name. No big deal. But really, all four other names are just out there. I do word association when I hear/read their names anywhere. What do you think of? Leave answers in comments!

TRACK: High School Track
BRISTOL: Bristol, VA
WILLOW: Willow on Buffy
PIPER: Piper Perabo & my friend Piper
TRIG: The social network site Trig.com
**Highlight the names to find my answers. :) **

Hardships

2008-09-04T08:41:00.000-07:00

I realize now how true this cartoon is. Yes, I've been rejected from employment at McDonalds. How sad is that? A MASTER'S DEGREE and I can't get a job at McDonalds. Ugh. My life sucks.
I am going through such a difficult time right now. Not only am I unemployed without a job opportunity in sight, I am about to be out of a place to live and there is no possible way that I'll be able to afford to get into an apartment or house or anything by the time I have to be out of here. So, I think I have to move to Cortez for a little while. At least I'll have a job and be able to make a little money while I'm job searching. I just feel like everything I wanted to do, get out of Cortez, make something of myself, etc., is failing and I have to go back home and work for $8 an hour at a gas station. It was fine for a summer job at one time but how long will I be stuck there? A month? Two? My parents want me to come home next weekend (13th/14th) if I don't find something by then.
So, I've pretty much given into the idea that I have to move to Cortez, make some money, and then I can try again up here, or wherever. It just sucks because I'm starting to meet people and enjoy my time here and get involved in things. I am part of a writing group and I have been asked to help with a new section of the Wash Perk website, and I'm trying to find a job and see my friends and all these things and I have to give that all up now. I have to give it all up so that I can live in my old bedroom and work at a gas station for very little money for the job I'll be doing.
However, I'm trying to find positive in all this negative thought. Maybe there is a reason that I haven't been able to find a job. Maybe I'll find an amazing career through someone I meet when I move back home. And, I'll be with my parents and not far from my sister. After being so far away for two years it might be nice to be around them. Plus, my parents will cook for me. :D I can't complain about that. I'll get to eat my dad's Green Chile Enchiladas again!
Anyway, I'm sad that things haven't worked out up here but I'm trying to be positive about it. This is just a bump in the road. Maybe now I'll find a way to start in work with music. I think that if I don't have a job by Sunday I'll be starting to pack up and get out. Maybe I'll plan a going away party for myself. HA.

2008-08-31T13:19:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine posted the following meme and I'm following suit.

Crushes
1. Name only 10 ~~boys~~ men you like!
2. If there is a tie for a number, skip however many numbers it takes to get to the next one.
3. You must state the reason why they are on your top 10 list.
4. Tag at least 3 people after you're done!

I actually had a hard time with this. Click names for pictures. :)

This is in no special order, BTW.

1. David Tennant
2. Shannon Leto
3. Mike Church (from the band Still Remains)
4. James Murray
5. John Stewart
6. John Barrowman
7. Anderson Cooper
8. Gary Oldman
9. Jared Leto (especially in his MSCL days)
10. Shia LaBeouf

So, my reason for all these guys is basically my attraction to their talent. Except for James and Shia, I just like to look at them. I mean, they do decent work but I'd be happy if they just stood there and looked good. :D

Tagging:
Anyone that wants to. :)

Democratic National Convention -- CONCERT!!

2008-08-28T09:35:00.000-07:00

So, Tent State University put on a concert here in Denver yesterday in support of Iraq Veterans Against the War.
The concert featured State Radio, The Coup, Flobots, and was headlined by Rage Against the Machine. Between each band there were special speakers from IVAW, disabled veterans (Ron Kovic), and the former lead singer of The Dead Kennedys.

(c)Associated Press

Following the concert there was a peaceful, non-violent protest that marched from the Denver Coliseum to the Pepsi Center where the DNC was being held. There were no riots, no violence, no arrests, and a peaceful dispersing of the masses. Police are guessing that there were around 9,000 people in attendance at the concert and about 2,500 of those continued on to the march to the Pepsi Center. Police were cooperative and guided the march along and were prepared for the worst. Word has it that police were astounded that there were no incidents. There were chants and banners and a sense of unity throughout the group. We were all there to make our voices heard, not to fight. There were several members of IVAW that headed up the march and members of the bands from the concert marched as well.
(c) Los Angeles Times
It was truly an amazing experience. I, however, ran out of battery in my camera and didn't have a backup set so there are no pictures. I will do my best to find some on the internetz and will give credit where it is due.

I'll discuss more about DNC later. Got things to do right now. :)

DNC- Day 1

2008-08-26T15:11:00.000-07:00

(photo by beerkitty)

First, let's start with Sunday.
Threats to Obama were the way that the week started. On Sunday morning a man was pulled over for suspected drunk driving. In the rented truck police found a wig, two high-powered rifles in the truck, with a scope, a bulletproof vest, a walkie-talkie, several boxes of ammunition and methamphetamine. One of the rifles, which was stolen, had a threaded barrel for a silencer. Three backpacks contained equipment for making methampahetamines: three large boxes of matches, two glass cooking vessels, pseudo-ephedrine pills, and a bottle of PH base. Now really, who drives around with that stuff in a rented truck? Hmm...
THEN at 4 Sunday morning police went to a local hotel and arrested another man. Half an hour later they went to another hotel to arrest another man and the guy jumped from a sixth-floor window, landed on an awning four floors down and then hit the ground, breaking his ankle. This last guy has warrants out for his arrest and is being held on a $1 million dollar bond because of it.
One of the men that was arrested, the one at the hotel but not the one that jumped, told the Secret Service that the group planned to kill Obama during his acceptance speech at Invesco Field at Mile High Thursday night.
In an interview with the station, the man said:
"He don't belong in political office. Blacks don't belong in political office. He ought to be shot."

So then yesterday was the first day of the DNC and there are mixed feelings about how the day went. Some people, like James Carville - Democratic Strategist and CNN contributor, believe that the Democrats wasted the first night of the convention. On CNN Carville said that the party was too soft on the first night. A mistake that he said happened in 2004 as well. Carville is quoted to have said,

"The way they planned it tonight was supposed to be sort of the personal — Michelle Obama will talk about Barack Obama personally, Ted Kennedy was a very personal, emotional speech," Carville said. "But I guarantee on the first night of the Republican Convention, you're going to hear talk about Barack Obama, commander-in-chief, tax cuts, et cetera, et cetera."

Now, I don't know about anyone else but I liked that the DNC started off really mellow and personal. People keep complaining about how they don't know much about Obama but when things get personal and you start to learn some things people complain about not hearing the political stuff. As the week progresses and leads up to Obama accepting the nomination I would expect there to be more political talk but I think the fact that there were strong, inspirational, and personal speeches on the first night gave me more insight into who might be heading up the country. For people that are undecided about what candidate they will back, or for those that are just inexperienced in the political process (like me) it was nice to be gently guided into the craziness that is the DNC. I think that if they would have started off with speeches about McCain and policies a lot of people would have been turned off. I think they had a good strategy and I hope that it worked and reeled in a lot of people.

Riots and arrests:
(Photo from Denver Post)
This is just an example of what went on yesterday. To see more photos go here.

Yesterday was a day for protester riots and the police were out in force. About 7pm last night police at Civic Center Park had to bring out the pepper spray and they sure used it. I mean, just look at that picture. Police claim that the protesters refused orders to disburse and that some carried rocks and other potential weapons as they headed toward the 16th Street Mall. No charges have been filed dealing with weapons but from what I've seen...they didn't look like much of a threat. Who knows though, I wasn't there. Some onlookers claim that the police never shouted for the group to disburse and never used any noise to indicate that they wanted the group to break up. They just went in and started taking people down. Lawyers are claiming it was an illegal mass arrest.

As for today, there have been anti-abortion protests, and tonight Hillary Clinton gives her speech, which I hope will be amazing. Tomorrow I'll be back to write more about DNC Day 2.

DNC

2008-08-23T11:30:00.000-07:00

So, since the Democratic National Convention is coming up this week and I happen to live in Denver I will be surrounded by all the DNC happenings. Now, I'm not a democrat but this is still a pretty big deal. The last time the DNC was in Denver was 100 years ago, 1908. I will be posting about what I hear/experience/witness during this momentous occasion and also be relaying some actual news stories that I find interesting. A Denver publication, Westword, has come out with an Unconventional Guide to Denver for the week and I will probably highlight some of the stories contained in it. If you want to read the entire guide just click the link.

If this happened I might start drinking Diet Coke

2008-08-17T14:11:00.000-07:00

Anyone else find this absolutely brilliant?

My crush on David Tennant is getting out of control lately. lol.

What hurts the most

2008-08-14T14:04:00.000-07:00

Why is it that some of those that are closest to us hurt us the most? I have a friend, a close friend, that has been one of the best friends I've had over the past oh...7 years. He has always had a harsh sense of humor and is often rude without realizing it but lately there have been a lot of comments made toward me that really hurt but are just humorous to him. He finds it funny that I am unemployed and can't afford to do things that everyone else can do. I avoid meals out with our friends and if I do go I don't eat...I can't afford it. He will make comments when we're around our friends that are hurtful and awful but he laughs about them. One example is:

A bunch of us, about 10, were out to dinner and I went along just to be around my friends. I didn't have the money to spend on food so I just had water. Some of my friends had ordered a pizza and couldn't finish it so they offered me some. Well, this great friend of mine said, "This is what she does. She doesn't order anything so that people will feel sorry for her and offer her food for free." And then he laughed at what he thought was so funny. I almost started crying.

He has absolutely no clue how much his comments hurt sometimes, even though I tell him they do. I guess he thinks I'm joking around or something. For a smart guy he's really dense. And then he gets upset if I EVER make fun of him for anything. He gets very defensive.

Another thing he does is start arguments about stupid stuff. We had a huge argument about a comment I made about cats. We walked by a house that had a cat in front of it laying out for a belly rub and I said that I liked cats and because I didn't qualify myself and say that I also like dogs he turned it into a debate between us about whether cats or dogs were better. I didn't realize it was a serious debate and I called him a name and he got upset and said that for being a master of english it didn't make sense that I would resort to name calling. Excuse me for not realizing it was a serious debate. I tried to stop the argument by saying that I didn't like cats more than dogs or dogs more than cats but he was having none of it and continued to argue why dogs were better. He was talking down to me like I was a child that had no concept of argument and I got quite because I wasn't in the mood for an argument. Then he claimed victory through some math phrase...QED...and I just let it go. I can't stand argument just for the sake of argument. I don't do it but apparently I'm a sore loser if I decide that I don't want to argue about cats and dogs when I had no position to take. Ugh.

Ok, I'm done complaining. I'm going to take a nap and get ready for D&D tonight.

2008-08-12T14:53:00.000-07:00

I wrote this poem last week and I'm really excited about it...and that never happens. I'm always really critical of my poetry and I never think it is any good but not with this one. I liked it from the beginning and got some good feedback from one of my best friends on it and I think it might be the best poem I've ever written.

Butterfly

Racing heart
Small talk
Strangers

Gentle recline
Nervous laughter
Discomfort

Rapid penetration
Adrenaline Rush
Ecstasy

Smiling faces
Numb skin
Exhaustion

Pain
Pleasure
Satisfaction

72 out of 100

2008-08-09T11:23:00.000-07:00

http://codebox.no-ip.net/controller?page=misc.QuizCommonWords

How many can you get? Maybe if I try again I can get more...I feel like a slacker English major for not getting them all.

Thoughts

2008-08-08T13:48:00.000-07:00

Thought 1:
So last night I watched this show on A&E called I Survived... and it was about the VT Massacre and some bus crash in Minneapolis. It was strange to watch and re-live that day. I got very emotional listening to the testimonials and seeing the pictures and video they showed. I remembered the fear I felt and the confusion that was taking place. Consoling students and myself was a difficult task. Eh...I suppose it was just emotional to watch.

Thought 2:
Yesterday I had my cards read by one of the ladies in my writing group. she's a psychic or clairvoyant or whatever she is called. She read from seven different decks and all the cards I drew seemed to lead to the same end. The Lady of the Lake. Among other things I need to learn to love myself and when I do it will begin movement toward monetary success and becoming "the lady of the lake" which means I'm courageous and wise. I guess I need to work on loving myself...which is difficult.

Thought 3:
I am thinking about new tattoos lately and I decided that I want a tattoo of the Tardis which will be a reminder to never be afraid to go out and meet new people, visit new places and try to change the world. Plus I think it is fun to have a geek tattoo. :) Opinions?

HAHA...I love 30 STM

2008-08-05T21:51:00.001-07:00

My favorite brothers doing the Habitat for Humanity thing. :)

If you would like to help continue to do good things with Habitat you can volunteer your time or even help the Echelon. Or at least check out the site and see what the Echelon have been up to. :)

Comic Book Tattoo!!

2008-08-05T21:22:00.001-07:00

Tori Amos, always breaking new ground and crossing boundaries, has a new project: Comic Book Tattoo. Songs like The Waitress, and Pirates, and Honey, just to name a few, were given the opportunity to come to life in a new way. Tori has allowed comic book artists to create comic interpretations of her songs. Tori has about twenty years of songs to choose from and Comic Book Tattoo is an amazing new way to interpret the vivid images of her songbook.

Anyone else really excited? :)
Yes? No? Read on and maybe you will be...

So, basically Comic Book Tattoo is 50 stories by 80 contributors. Very impressive, no? A full list of contributors includes many names you might recognize (depending on how geeky you are) and also features an introduction by Neil Gaiman. The list is: David Mack, Josh Hechinger, Matthew Humphreys, Jonathan Tsuei, Eric Canete, Jason Horn, Dean Trippe, Sara Ryan, Jonathan Case, Rantz A. Hoseley, James Stokoe, Tristan Crane, Atticus Wolrab, Kako, Nikki Cook, Drew Bell, Kevin Mellon, Jeff Carroll, Mike May, Jeremy Haun, Amber Stone, Leif Jones, Elizabeth Genco, Carla Speed Mcneil, Kelly Sue Deconnick, Andy Macdonald, Nick Filardi, Cat Mihos, Andre Szymanowicz, Gabe Bautista, C.B. Cebulksi, Ethan Young, Joey Weltjens & Lee Duhig, Omaha Perez, Irma Page, Mark Buckingham, Rantz A. Hoseley, Ming Doyle, Mike Maihack, John Ney Reiber, Ryan Kelly, Alice Hunt, Trudy Cooper, Jonathan Hickman, Matthew S. Armstrong, Neil Kleid, Christopher Mitten, Kristyn Ferretti, Stephanie Leong, Sonia Leong, Peov, Kelly Sue Deconnick, Laurenn Mccubbin, John Bivens, Hope Larson, Emma Vieceli, Faye Yong, Chris Arrant, Star St.Germain, Mike Dringenberg, Paul Maybury, Jim Bricker, Craig Taillefer, Dame Darcy, G. Willow Wilson, Steve Sampson, Neal Shaffer, Daniel Krall, Adisakdi Tantimedh, Ken Meyer Jr., Mark Sable, Salgood Sam, Tom Williams, James Owen, Seth Peck, Daniel Heard, Ivan Brandon, Callum Alexander Watt, Leah Moore, John Reppion, Pia Guerra, Mark Sweeney, Kristyn Ferretti, Jessica Staley, Shane White, Ted Mckeever, Chris Chuckry, Jimmie Robinson, Lea Hernandez Derek Mcculloch, Colleen Doran and Jason Hanley.

If you would like to read more about this check out Comic Blog Tattoo.

Also, here is an interview with Tori about comics, music, etc.
Tori Amos talks about Comic Book Tattoo!

Lonely

2008-08-05T07:41:00.000-07:00

I want someone to feel this way about me. (pay attention to the lyrics)

KILL HANNAH REVIEW

2008-07-30T12:44:00.000-07:00

Hot Topic's Hope for the Hopeless tour featuring Kill Hannah came through Denver last night and performed at the Marquis Theatre downtown. The show began at around 7:30 with the first of three opening bands, The White Tie Affair. This band was full of fun energy and their catchy pop/electronica songs got the audience up and dancing. Their song "Mr. Right" seemed to be a fan favorite. They also made a big splash by doing a cover of Justin Timberlake's "LoveStoned" in all it's pop glory, including beatboxing. The lead singer and lead guitarist were very charismatic and their crowd interaction was fun to watch.
The second opening band, innerpartysystem, were very electronically infused but also have a nice rock feel to them. The use of synth got a little old after a bit but overall it was fun. The lead singer played around with the mic stand a lot and swallowed his mic too much which made it hard to understand what he was singing.
The final opening band, The Medic Droid, was a lot of fun to watch and listen to. It was evident that they were having a lot of fun and their set really got the crowd pumped for Kill Hannah. They also had a large number of fans in attendance so it was fun to hear a lot of people singing along to their songs.
I would suggest all of these bands to people who enjoy fun, synth infused music.
Finally, around ten Kill Hannah came on stage to Life in the Arctic and went straight into "Boys and Girls" (Please note that all videos posted here are not from the Denver show. They are just examples.) Each time I've seen KH they start the show the same way, not that I'm complaining. I enjoy it. The lasers on the guitars and the band just rocking out to start the show is fun. There was constant high energy from the band and it just electrified the audience. Crowd favorites were "Crazy Angel", "Kennedy", "Love You To Death" "Lips Like Morphine," "Black Poison Blood" and newer song "The Chase." They also performed "Believer" and my personal favorite "Songs That Saved My Life" as well as a new song called "Acid Rain" which sounded like songs from the "For Never and Ever" CD, in my opinion. Mat and crew really seemed to be having a blast on stage and at one point Mat claimed that it was the first time he had seen his bandmates smile in a week, which sent the audience into a frenzy.
The show ended with the songs "No One Dreams Anyway" and "Welcome to Chicago" which he dedicated to Denver, what he claims is the band's second home but sounds scripted to me. The show was overall fun, lively, and over too soon.

There was a guy filming the show and right before the final song Mat announced that the Denver show was going to appear on sleepnever.com in the next few days so keep a look out. You might see me. :)

Day 2

2008-07-30T11:35:00.000-07:00

So, my lovely friend Katie posted this picture in her blog yesterday and as soon as I saw it I thought, wow, that would be a cool tattoo. Lower back where girls usually have a "tramp stamp" perhaps? Thoughts?

Aww...Vomit is love. :)

Day 1

2008-07-29T14:54:00.001-07:00

So, this is my newest blog adventure. I already have two blogs on blogspot but I wanted one to use to just ramble in so here it is.

Today I joined a writing group. There are two older ladies and one other girl that is about my age. It should be pretty interesting to see how this goes. Both of the older ladies are retired English teachers and the girl that is my age is a current Masters student here in town. Today we established when we'll meet and what we want to accomplish. I'm going to just bring in whatever I'm working on whether it be poetry, fiction, non-fiction, music articles, etc. One woman is going to be working on a screenplay and the other will be working on her poetry. I'm not sure what Amber is going to be doing but it should be something interesting. I'm really excited to be doing this and I just happened to be in the right place at the right time today to join in. I went to the local coffee shop this morning and the owner told me that there was going to be a meeting this afternoon for the beginning of a writing group. Apparently she had told one of the ladies about me and I was encouraged to attend. At first I was hesitant because I have never been a part of a writing group, and especially one with strangers. The most experience I have in that type of situation was during college where we had to bring pieces to class.

So, I went to the initial meeting and had a wonderful time. Both of the older women are wonderful, one is a clairvoyant, and we had lots of fun stories going on between us. We shared our ideas about what we're writing but mostly we just got to know each other. I'm excited and a little nervous about bringing in something that I've written. I have decided to take in what I've recently started writing. I'm writing a type of science fiction story about time travel...of sorts. I'm just trying things out so it will be nice to get feedback.

I am also excited about this because it gives me something to work on instead of falling into depression. As I wait for some form of employment I need something to occupy my time. I read and watch movies, etc but this is something that will keep my creative juices flowing and not leave me to get depressed about my situation...well, more depressed. I am after all going on 3 months of being unemployed, I'm living on about $50 and I will need to be finding my own place to live soon. I am down and out and need something that will make me feel like I'm not worthless.

So, cheers to new beginnings, new friends and new writing!